वैलेंटाईन के बोझ का मारा फरवरी (व्यंग्य लेख)- शशि पाण्डेय

बेचारा फरवरी वैलेंटाईन के बोझ का मारा बारह महीनों में एक कमज़ोर फ़रवरी का महीना जिसके ऊपर ही दुनिया भर के प्रेमियों का बोझ है। एक तो इसके दिन कम ऊपर से इतना प्रेशर बडी नाइंसाफी है। यही दुनिया का दस्तूर है जो जितना कमजोर होता है वो उतना ही कुचला जाता है। कमजोर से ही ज्यादा काम लिया जाता है । क्या बाकी के महीनों को ये काम आपस मिल बांट कर नहीं कर लेना चाहिए ! सारे महीने काम बांट लेते तो कितना अच्छा होता ।

वैलेंटाइन वीक के सात दिन मतलब कम से कम सात महीनों में काम बांट जाता। फरवरी की यूं सांस ना फूल रही होती। आखिर क्या बिगाड़ा था फरवरी ने किसी का, क्यूं इस अदने से महीने के पीछे दुनिया हाथ धोकर पड़ी है। आज ये डे है कल वो डे है मतलब एक हफ्ता फरवरी दुनिया के बैराए लोगो को संभालता रह जाता है बेचारा। कितने जोड़ों का प्यार परवान होने के लिए फरवरी का इंतज़ार करता है। कितनों के ना को हां में बदलने का फेरबदल फरवरी करता है। इतने जोड़े तो छत्तीस गुण भी न मिलाते जितने जोड़े फरवरी बना जाता है।
कितने टैडी, टैडी डे पर फूल फूल कर कुप्पा हुए जाते हैं इसी फरवरी में। गुलाबों की तो बात ही क्या कहें वो तो मारे घमंड पक कर ही मानो लाल हुए जाते हैं, क्योंकि उनको पता है उन पर प्यार का साठ प्रतिशत दारोमदार उन पर ही आ टिका है। फ़रवरी के बोझ को हम भारतीयों ने भी कम ना बढ़ाया है। हम कोई भी विदेशी त्योहार रीति रिवाज़ हो मनाए बिना नहीं जाने देते भले उसका मतलब पता हो या नहीं। इतना तो प्रेमी प्रेमिका भी एक दूसरे को ना मनाते जितने बाहर के त्योहार मनाएं जाते हैं।
कुछ जोड़ों को लड़ते देखा तो फरवरी का दिल जार जार रो पड़ा।
पहला जोड़ा – लड़की .. जैसे मैंने तुम्हें विश किया तुमने मुझे नहीं किया?
लड़का – नहीं जान मैंने ठीक वैसे ही विश किया जैसे तुमने मुझे।
लड़की – मतलब जो मैं करूंगी वही तुम करोगे?
लड़का – मन ही मन बुदबुदा कर कहता मानो आगे पहाड़ पीछे खाई।
दूसरा जोड़ा- लड़का आज तो तुमने पूरा दिन साथ रहने को बोला था।
लड़की- हां तो बोला था इस सड़ी सी जगह साथ रहने को नही बोला था।
लड़का- जा फिर ये सड़ी जगह है से।
दोनों अपने अपने रस्ते चले जाते हैं।
इतनी बेचारगी, इतनी दयनीयता किसी महीने के हिस्से नहीं आईं। कुछ तो फरवरी में नहाने के लिए ही दिसंबर और जनवरी को जैसे तैसे काट लेते हैं! कुछ प्यार के फरवरीय लैला मझनू लोगों का कहना है कि कुछ महीने उससे जलते हैं इसलिए सबने मिलकर उसके दिन कम कर दिए।

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